Thursday, January 10, 2019

Essential Oils and Quenching Oils of Friendship



Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart:
so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel. Proverbs 27:9

My wife has spent some time learning about essential oils, their uses, and benefits. It seems there are no end to what different oils purport to do. Reading through the wisdom books, you’ll notice that Solomon was a fan of essential oils, if for nothing else than the smell. There is something refreshing about a nice aroma. I suppose that’s why Yankee Candle does so well (Newell Rubbermaid – no relation; I’m not heir to any vast kitchenware fortune – bought Yankee Candle for $15 billion in 2015). It made Solomon happy to come home and have a sweet smell waft through the doorway, and if such small common graces fill your heart with joy, then more power to you and praise the Lord.

Solomon mused on his buoyant bouquet and it reminded him of friendship. Friendship is sweet, and it does the soul good to talk another like-minded soul, but especially a wise friend who is invested enough to give advice from the soul. The particular fragrance of friendship Solomon is talking about here comes from the friend’s counsel, wise words from a friend who really cares. It delights the heart to have a companion offering guidance when we are troubled. During some calamity, to know we have a friend to help us get back on track or stay to stay the course is comforting. When we are not thinking clearly, or cannot think clearly, how rewarding to have a friend, detached from the situation, to give us fresh perspective. When tragedy comes, it cheers the heart to have a friend to remind us of truths we both believe. What a help to stand in the funeral home and have a friend who cared enough to come or to hear the voice of one offering a word of encouragement. It rejoiced the heart to know, even in terribly sad times, one could rely on a friend’s words to give comfort and aid. How good to know there is another person who loves and cares enough to share their heart and give all they can to help you, knowing they love and want the best for you. It’s good to have a friend who tells you what you need to hear, not just want you want to hear. A friend with a backbone.

Are you a friend who rejoices the heart? It’s good to receive, but it’s better to give. Strive to be the kind of friend one can rely on. Labor to be the kind of friend whose counsel is sweet and sought after. If you want to be that sort of friend, you need to work to be wise, and “whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so the them.” Be a good friend.  Consider the fragrance in your relationships and what kind of counsel are you getting, and what kind of counsel to you give?


The Forge of Friendship

Ambrose Bierce, in his Devil’s Dictionary said being friendless is, “Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.” Part of being a true friend means you have to sometimes do or say things your friend is not going to like. Bierce, though in jest, hit close to home because to have many “friends”, you will need to lay off the truth and common sense. But is that really friendship? When someone does nothing but butter you up, they are not helping you out or being your friend -- they are setting a trap for you. Proverbs 29:5, “A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet.” The only person who believes you are the greatest the world has ever known is your Mom -- anyone else saying so is flattering you wants something. Maybe you lay it on pretty thick because you want people to like you. Unfortunately, this is counterproductive if you are looking for close friendships. The flatterer may enjoy the company of others, but they won’t enjoy close friendship that comes over time through honest counsel. Proverbs 28:3, “He that rebuketh a man afterwards shall find more favour than he that flattereth with the tongue.”

A good friend has your best interest at heart, not their own. You are not perfect, and no one knows that better than our friends. But, they also want the best for you, so we can see how correction, or a warning may be in order from time to time. Proverbs 27:6, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” It’s better to be corrected by a friend than kissed by an enemy. If the flatterer wants something from you, he’s buttering you up. If he is looking for advancement, they’ll use you and leave you behind. The wounds of a friend are faithful to the truth and faithful to the friendship. The enemy pretends to be a friend and feigns love for personal gain.

A friend is going to make you better. Proverbs 27:17, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” True, taking your Case and your Buck and scraping them together is not the best way to sharpen a knife. But you don’t live in the Iron Age and your Case is made of high carbon steel, not iron, but the principle is easy to understand. Men can make each other better by thoughtful, purposeful resistance. When you sharpen a blade, you must remove material. The result is less of what you don’t want and more of what you do. Friends make each other better in the forge. Be careful - too much sharpening, and all you’ll have is a handle. Or, if you hammer the tip of your blade into the face of the whetstone, you’ll break the blade and make it worse. There is a right way to sharpen and a time to stop. 


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