It’ll Get You Nowhere

Proverbs 29:5  A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet.

I read somewhere that flattery is a poison that makes everyone sick but the person who swallows it. Honeyed words and fair speech is dangerous for the person on the receiving end of fawning toadyism and grave error for the one who dishes it out. Flattery is a deceptive tactic designed to swell the pride and manipulate the mind of the target, to promote the self-interest of the flatterer. It’s excessive, insincere, and oftentimes undeserved praise. It’s a manipulative lie. Our proverb warns us here — flattery is a trap. Be on guard and watch out for the net, an effective snare indeed. Flattery is just someone else telling us what we likely already think about ourselves, namely that we are awesome and finally, someone gets it.

The problem with flattery is it’s not just a lie, but it’s a destructive lie (Proverbs 26:28). When you flatter someone, you are not helping them, you are not loving them, but you are showing you hate their soul and working for their harm. Flattery works ruin. Those in any positions of leadership need to be leery of a Wormtounge in their midst, who heaps undue praise upon him, and not meddle with the flatterer (Proverbs 20:19).

Many marriages have been ruined by flattery (Proverbs 7:5,21). Men need to love their wives and be thankful they tell them the truth and recognize the sweet words coming from women other than their wife is a trap. Really. You’re not that awesome. Believe your wife.

Christians, you need to watch out for preachers who use flattery (1 Thessalonians 2:5). A man that reads the Bible and lives among sinners and can’t preach a message on sin is wanting something from you. Of course, if a preacher can only preach about how bad “those people are” out there, he is using flattering words. It’s not for the faint of heart to stand before people on Sunday morning, and on the authority of God, rebuke sin in the camp, then go stand at the back door and shake the hands of those you rebuked. But a man will do it if he loves the people he preaches to. On the other hand, if the preacher loves himself, he’ll preach sweet and pretty words to you, and come down hard on the sins of others, because they aren’t as right, and good, and holy as you are, and you’ll eat your Sunday dinner in comfort and satisfaction of soul. That’s a trap.

The flatter has an ulterior agenda. He’s double-hearted and doubleminded. Their unfaithful mouths are like an open tomb, and poison is under their tongue. The very craft of this sin is based on wicked plotting and evil machinations and the undiscerning victim only realizes this way too late. Beware that you aren’t found in the camp of the flatterer. Better to speak hard truths than soft lies. God knows the score and will judge flatterers (Psalm 12; 5:9-10).