1 Timothy 3:4-5 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)
When a church looks to ordain a man or looks to call a pastor they need to look at the man, but also look at his family. The man's family is a good barometer of his ability to shepherd a flock. I believe every Christian man who God has blessed with a family has the duty to shepherd his children and his wife. God ordained headship and with headship comes authority and responsibility.
The man that knows how to rule his home will usually have the skill set to know how to rule the church. The children under his roof should be in subjection to him. If they won't listen to him, it is doubtful that anyone else will either. This also tells the church that they are calling a man to lead them. The pastor has to be given a measure of authority and respect by the church if he is to lead them. A father cannot lead his family from behind and neither can a pastor.
Let me take the time (again) to say that these are overarching principles of the man's character. This doesn't not disqualify a man if he doesn't have children or if his children are grown. A man can no more make his children believers than he can raise the dead. We are saved by grace, after all. A rebellious child doesn't disqualify a man from the ministry. However, if the man's kids are setting fire to the tract rack and have proven their skill in rearranging the letters on the church sign to things that make the deacon's wife blush, then we may have a problem of leadership in the home.
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