Proverbs 25:20 As he that taketh away a garment in cold weather, and as vinegar upon nitre, so is he that singeth songs to an heavy heart.
First things first. What in the world is nitre?
I like the definition in Nave's Topical Dictionary. I think he understood as much as I do. His full definition: "a chemical". So, there you go.
I like the definition in Nave's Topical Dictionary. I think he understood as much as I do. His full definition: "a chemical". So, there you go.
Without exactly knowing that vinegar causes nitre to be as bubbly as a Hello Kitty tour guide, we can tell by the taking the coat away in the cold example, that it isn't a good thing. It doesn't do much good taking a persons coat when they are freezing. Nor would it help a person carrying nitre to have you go and start a chemical reaction in their hands. Upon reflection, neither of these things would be optimal.
The "as" and the "so" is the key. Not to be overly simple, but these little words clue us in on how to read proverbs. As these two bad things are, so it is equally bad to do this other bad thing. In other words, only a jerk would take away a man's coat in a blizzard or dump water in a box of a man's Tide and everyone knows that.
It is equally bad to sing songs to a heavy heart. It is trying to overlook the pain of one whose heart is heavy by applying the wrong medicine at the wrong time. Proverbs 17:22 says A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones. But be discerning enough to know when to apply this salve to which wound. I'm sure Tylenol would help the pain of a rattlesnake bite, but lets deal with the deadly poison coursing through my veins first. In other words telling someone to "cheer up" when they have just been devastated is not likely to be the best medicine. Another bit of science, the world doesn't revolve around you, or me as far as that goes. In fact, almost failing chemistry is one of the ways I learned that said earth's rotation has little to do with me and my proximity. Because you are not sad, that doesn't mean others are not, and trying to make them happy by singing songs is not going to help the situation, it is only going to make it worse.
There are those unfortunate souls who revel in sorrow and are their happiest when they are miserable. We are dealing with a person who is genuinely sad and a person who genuinely wants to help. One person has a very good reason to be brokenhearted, and the other person hates to see them that way. The problem arises in how to help them. Solomon is telling us if we go and act like a morning radio show in the midst of someone's sorrow to try to "help them" you are going to make it worse.
There are exceptions, of course, but if most people could just "cheer up" they would. There is a time to grieve and if you want to be a friend, don't be superficial with your friends pain. Sympathize, show loving compassion. There is a middle ground between being a clown and being a "friend to Job".
There is a time to weep and a time to laugh. Learn the difference.With kindly and brotherly affection, weep with them that weep. Help them, hear them, pray for them, and point them to Christ.
Grace & Peace,
Doug