Widows indeed. Tuesdays with Timothy #63

1 Timothy 5:3-25

The church has a responsibility to the widows in the church. As we are instructed how to behave in the house of God, Paul has instructions on helping the widows, but he is clear about defining which widows. This passage will win us no friends in the world. It has more 'triggers' than a Spaghetti Western. But we are not those who apply the progressive mindset of the world to the Scriptures.

The church is not to keep and financially support every woman whose husband dies. Paul is talking about is the church keeping and caring for the daily needs, not a help or a gift. The church is to care for widows, but the churches first responsibility is to the members of that congregation. Paul is clear that the continuous support of widows is a very narrow category of people.

Paul doesn't hate widows. What Paul does hate is those who shirk their responsibility or take advantage of the church.

(3) Honour widows that are widows indeed. (4) But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.

The church is to take care of true widows. Those who are truly destitute and have no place else to turn. But, if the widow has living children or nephews, they are to care for their mother or aunt. Piety is proven in the home when they take up their God given, God pleasing responsibility and care for their mother. God is pleased when children repay their parents by caring for them when they can no longer care for themselves. Isn't it odd that in a culture that is supposed to be so progressive and so in tune the plight of the downtrodden and the poor, the idea of middle-aged sons and daughter caring for their parents is almost a foreign idea? We have shirked our responsibilities and given them to the State. "Caring for the elderly is important, but I'm busy and have a life, so the Government will do it, and they'll make you pay for it". Piety here begins at home, not in Washington, D.C. But what if she has no place to go? She is what Paul calls a "true widow".

(5) Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day.

A true widow, that the church is to care for is:

• Desolate
• A believer
• A believer who is dedicated to the worship and service of God

A desolate widow has no family, no kin that can come along and help her. She is all alone in the world. A "true widow" that the church is to care for is a believer. Not only a believer, but one that spends her time in prayer. When the church decides on whether or not to take up the case, these are the qualifications.The field of candidates has been narrowed to church members, not every woman in the community that needs help. Why not?

(6) But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth. (7) And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless.

The church is not to be a means by which a woman can be supported to live an ungodly life. The church is not to care and support those who won't worship. The church should not support a woman who will not pray for the church or will not support the church in prayer, attendance, and service. A widow who lives for herself and not for God is as dead as her husband. The church and the pastor must keep the line here so that the church would be blameless and the widows be blameless. This is where it takes godly men and woman to have a backbone and not cave it just because a woman is in a rough spot. Ultimately, they show her no love and the church no good to support a sinful life.

What if the kids won't help?

(8) But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

This verse is usually applied to father's who won't work. But as the context shows, it is being applied to children and nephews who won't support their aged, destitute mother's or aunts. These men have denied the faith. It doesn't matter what their doctrinal statement says. It doesn't matter how much they love "church truth", they deny it by their actions. They prove that they don't really know the Lord. They are worse than infidels. At least infidels have somewhat of an excuse that they don't hold to the truth of Christ.

(9) Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man, (10) Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.

Now that we see that there are distinctions concerning whom the church will support, Paul specifies which Godly women should be supported with some more qualifications of the widow indeed.

• She has to be over 60
• She has to be the wife of one man
• She has to have a good reputation of good works
• If she raised children
• Hospitable
• Humble (washed the saints feet)
• Given herself to the poor
• Lived a godly life

What we have is a woman with a history of godliness. She has shown and displayed herself has a consistently, godly woman who had and continues to live for God's glory. The woman in view is an older widow, whose husband is dead and did not remarry. It cannot mean that Paul is against second marriages because in verse 11, he urges younger women to marry again, and a young widow who marries again, is likely to be a widow for the second time. I can't see that a women who followed Paul's instruction would be ineligible for support. I believe we need to refer back to the pastor's qualifications and apply the same rules as we did there. Just as no man can fully and perfectly fit the qualifications in every step of his life, it's the same here. There are destitute women, who have had only one husband, lived their lives for God's glory, but are barren, so is she ineligible for support because she was also barren? Who among us has "diligently followed every good work?" We understand that Paul is not saying that this widow must have been a perfect woman, but her life should have been a demonstrated life of godliness. If a woman was in ungodly relationships through her life, if she did not hold to the sanctity of marriage and then gets to the end of her life and because of age, has no place else to turn, she shouldn't be taken in by the church. This is an overall picture of her character. And if you disagree that these are guidelines, but think these must be followed by the strictness of the letter, invite me to your next foot washing service, and we'll talk it through. 

The woman that the church supports is expected to continue to serve the church. She is expected to be a woman in continual prayer and service to the Lord's people. 

(11) But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry; (12) Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith. (13) And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. (14) I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully. (15) For some are already turned aside after Satan. (16) If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.

What if a younger woman requests to be supported by the church? The answer is no. They should get married. Again, this isn't a love offering, or helping the young woman out in need. But the church is not going to take her in and pay her way.

Why? Because they will learn to be idle. They are young enough to be engaged in caring for a family and the church shouldn't support idleness. If they are not taking care of their God given responsibilities, they will become troublemakers. They will go from house to house, spreading gossip, speaking things they shouldn't be.

Younger women shouldn't be supported by the church, but should apply themselves to family life. Get married again. Have kids. Take care of the family. Apply themselves to the work God gave to women. Take care of your own house instead of being involved in house of other's. This will lead women to their doom and God's church should point and direct people in holiness, not in ungodliness. The church is not to support the work of gossips, the work of spreading lies and discord.

This will take courage. This will take boldness. This will make people mad. This is meddling in people's lives. This is telling people things they don't want to hear and going against the grain of society. This will take the men of the church telling a woman of the church no. And it is the churches responsibility. But, if the church has widows, relive them. It's the churches job to help those are widows indeed.