Monday Verse: The Happy Life of a Country Parson

by Alexander Pope

PARSON, these things in thy possessing
Are better than the bishop’s blessing:
A wife that makes conserves; a steed
That carries double when there ’s need;

October store, and best Virginia,        
Tythe pig, and mortuary guinea;
Gazettes sent gratis down and frank’d,
For which thy patron’s weekly thank’d;
A large Concordance, bound long since;

Sermons to Charles the First, when prince;        
A Chronicle of ancient standing;
A Chrysostom to smooth thy band in;
The Polyglott—three parts—my text,
Howbeit—likewise—now to my next;

Lo here the Septuagint—and Paul,        
To sum the whole—the close of all.
  He that has these may pass his life,
Drink with the ’Squire, and kiss his wife;
On Sundays preach, and eat his fill,

And fast on Fridays—if he will;        
Toast Church and Queen, explain the news,
Talk with Churchwardens about pews,
Pray heartily for some new gift,
And shake his head at Doctor Swift.